My job makes me
physically sick. . .
Dear Kristine,
I hate my job. I know it's a good job - I make a great salary and even though I hate it, I feel lucky to have a good job.
But my job makes me physically sick. I mean, really sick. Sick to my stomach.
Three months ago my supervisor was promoted and I got assigned a different supervisor.
That's when things went downhill for me.
My current boss took away all the projects I was working and gave me work that bores me. When the alarm goes off in the morning, I hate to get out of bed.
My wife is worried about me. She knows I'm losing weight, not sleeping.
Last night she asked a lot of questions. I don't want to worry her with what is happening.
I don't know what to do. This job is hell, but it pays well and I know my wife thinks this is the year we can start planning a family.
No one else at work seems upset with anything that's coming down. My boss is not a mean woman; she doesn't know what she's doing however, and working for her is chaos.
If I stick it out, the company might promote someone else to supervise me and things would get easier.
But if nothing changes I don't know what I will do.
Yesterday I spent hours in the bathroom, sick to my stomach. I hate to admit this, but I cried on the train on my way home two nights last week.
I'm miserable.
Thanks for your help.
Bruce
- - - - - -
No one else at work seems upset with anything that's coming down. My boss is not a mean woman; she doesn't know what she's doing however, and working for her is chaos.
If I stick it out, the company might promote someone else to supervise me and things would get easier.
But if nothing changes I don't know what I will do.
Yesterday I spent hours in the bathroom, sick to my stomach. I hate to admit this, but I cried on the train on my way home two nights last week.
I'm miserable.
Thanks for your help.
Bruce
- - - - - -
Dear Bruce:
I'm sorry to read your email - and I want you to know that you are NOT alone.
Many, many people write to me with the identical concern.
These are difficult times- many people feel trapped in jobs they hate.
During times of high unemployment there is more stress in the workplace than there is in the unemployment line.
Those of us who are out of work live lives of quiet desperation, and openly seek to improve our situations.
Those of us in awful jobs however, live lives of painful dishonesty, and try each day to present the face of an engaged, worthy employee to our workplace.
It is important that you NOT take this personally and understand you are NOT alone.
It is also important, critical, necessary for you to find a life independent of your work life.
I know this seems impossible.
You are at work the majority of your day - at least forty hours each week. How can one make time for anything other than the work day and the activities that support it?
I'm sorry to read your email - and I want you to know that you are NOT alone.
Many, many people write to me with the identical concern.
These are difficult times- many people feel trapped in jobs they hate.
During times of high unemployment there is more stress in the workplace than there is in the unemployment line.
Those of us who are out of work live lives of quiet desperation, and openly seek to improve our situations.
Those of us in awful jobs however, live lives of painful dishonesty, and try each day to present the face of an engaged, worthy employee to our workplace.
It is important that you NOT take this personally and understand you are NOT alone.
It is also important, critical, necessary for you to find a life independent of your work life.
I know this seems impossible.
You are at work the majority of your day - at least forty hours each week. How can one make time for anything other than the work day and the activities that support it?
It seems impossible, but Bruce, you must do it.
I suggest the following process. First, identify some of the things you enjoy doing.
For me, I take enjoyment in creative writing - short stories, plays, poetry. When I write I find release and freedom.
What do you enjoy? Perhaps you enjoy a physical activity like running or swimming. Maybe you find release in another art form; playing a musical instrument or joining a choir.
Some people enjoy community theatre and join a cast or crew for a production. You might like enroll in a dance class - or try volunteering.
Something.
You must find SOMETHING other than work to do and think about.
This new activity will consume some of your free time - and if you ask your wife to join you, the two of you will deepen your involvement with each other.
Right now all you have is your job. Your job and your marriage. When the sun comes in your window, all you have to look forward to is going to work and coming home.
Freud said we need love and work - - so you have those two things. But you need a place in your day and your life where you can do work you love and a time in your day where you can express your love.
Find something. Dive into it. Do your best at work and place that part of your life behind the other parts.
When your priorities shift so will your spirits.
Give this plan six months and write me again.
I'm anxious to hear how this all evolves!!
Good luck-
Kristine
I suggest the following process. First, identify some of the things you enjoy doing.
For me, I take enjoyment in creative writing - short stories, plays, poetry. When I write I find release and freedom.
What do you enjoy? Perhaps you enjoy a physical activity like running or swimming. Maybe you find release in another art form; playing a musical instrument or joining a choir.
Some people enjoy community theatre and join a cast or crew for a production. You might like enroll in a dance class - or try volunteering.
Something.
You must find SOMETHING other than work to do and think about.
This new activity will consume some of your free time - and if you ask your wife to join you, the two of you will deepen your involvement with each other.
Right now all you have is your job. Your job and your marriage. When the sun comes in your window, all you have to look forward to is going to work and coming home.
Freud said we need love and work - - so you have those two things. But you need a place in your day and your life where you can do work you love and a time in your day where you can express your love.
Find something. Dive into it. Do your best at work and place that part of your life behind the other parts.
When your priorities shift so will your spirits.
Give this plan six months and write me again.
I'm anxious to hear how this all evolves!!
Good luck-
Kristine
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