I don't need judgment;
I need a good woman.
My two sons are both grown with families of their own. I don't like to spend time with them because they judge me. I don't need judgement; I need a good, loving woman.
I met a nice woman last month online. I think she's great - she seems to understand me. My life has been okay up to now; but I want to make it better by asking her to marry me.
My children heard you speak when you were last in Philadelphia. My oldest son said he would be okay with me marrying again if you said it was a smart thing to do. I said I would write and ask.
I'm not sure I'll take your advice, but I promised my son - so here I am.
What do you think?
Dear Romeo -
I think you are one of the most self-absorbed men I've ever encountered. Take a moment and review the email you sent. Every one of your sentences begins with "me" or "I." This is remarkable.
No, I do not think you should marry again. Nor do I think you are ready for a full-adult relationship with a woman if all you have done is "forgive" the women who married you.
Your task, should you choose to engage it, is to find a modicum of humility before its too late.
You're not a young man, Romeo. You're too old for this kind of selfishness. Who knows how little time you have?
My recommendation to you is this; find a good geriatric therapist. Tell him/her that you want to explore your unrelenting narcissism. Take six months, a year, however long you need to get to the bottom of your careless self regard for the needs and opinions of others.
Whatever you do, do not marry again. I think you have some housecleaning before you, Mr. Romeo. Your psyche is cluttered with misconception. Perhaps if you get clear about who you are and what you may yet contribute to our beautiful world, you will be a fit partner for someone.
Until then, stay single. Trust me; as fond as you are of yourself and your own company, you'll do fine.