"It makes my skin crawl when a gay guy comes on to me. . ."
Dear Kristine; I couldn't help but notice that you seem to be tolerant of, and even inviting to, homosexuals and lesbians. Your website indicates you would even marry them, if you were asked to do so.
What's up with that? I've tried to get over this - but I just don't like gay men. I'm a great looking guy, and always get a lot of female attention. But it makes my skin crawl when a gay guy comes on to me.
I know it's not cool - and so I wonder about people like you who seem to be so relaxed about the whole thing.
I mean, I'm an educated person; I like to think of myself as sophisticated. I know that lots of my co-workers are probably gay or lesbian. I'm so uncomfortable around them - I'm sure that they have noticed. If they have not, that's terrific. I'd like to not feel as I do.
This is starting to get in the way of team building and "happy hour" trolling. What can you offer to help me get over this?
- Lost in Lesbo-Land
My, oh my.
You claim to know men and women who are gay and lesbian - and still you ask me this question. Lost, lost, lost. . . indeed, you might be.
Here's my advice. If you want to learn more about the world, open your mind. Read outside your comfort zone. View films that introduce you to worldviews different from your own.
Invite one of your gay co-workers out for drinks -and speak to him about your life, as though he were NOT gay. Let him talk to you about his as well. Let in the information - share yours freely.
As the days, weeks, months progress, remind yourself that this is not your planet alone. You inhabit it with a wide variety of humans and others. We are, all of us, under the same charge - to do well, be happy and help each other.
If you meet someone you think is gay, and you find yourself slipping into emotions that are unpleasant, remember that this person, like you, is a child of the universe; no less than the trees and the stars - and this person has a right to be here.
And whether or not any of this is clear to you - no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Your job is to strive to be happy. The secret to life, dear Lost, is to enjoy the passing of time.
Time with straights, gays, bisexuals, transgendered folks, and all the rest of us in between.
We're sliding down this razor blade together. So, try not to try too hard - - it's a lovely ride.
Presbyterian pastor, broadcast commentator, playwright and great friend.